Let’s talk about how to handle an elderly parent’s resistance to accepting personal assistance. This is an interesting situation the adult child finds often with their aging parent. Really the bottom line is you cannot make a competent adult do anything against their will. But, with some insight into their struggle you may be able to reach an understanding.
Research has shown the most common factor causing an adult to refuse assistance is fear. The adult child may feel the parent is being stubborn and willful when the elderly parent may be scared. Two common fears are being out of control and financial concerns.
Let’s address some ways to contour these concerns. When contemplating help let the elderly adult feel in control of the situation. Include them in discussions and interviews. Suggest they ask a friend for recommendations of agencies. Ask the adult what days and times might work best for them? Let them be in control as much as possible.
Financial concerns of course need to be addressed. As much as possible show the adult how this is financially possible in their situation. A real fear to them is out living their money. Unfortunately, many families go with the initial cheapest option for home care and that does not often prove to be a good situation. There are industry stands for home care rates and you want to stay within those parameters.
Hopefully this will help understand some of the resistance to accepting care. I encourage you to have a conversation and try to assess your parent’s concerns.